Joke: A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding

Bob Akridge

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding in her Corvette. A traffic cop pulls her over. She says “Is there a problem, officer?” Yes ma’am, I’m afraid you were speeding. Oh, I see. The cop says, “Can I see your license please?” Well, I would give it to you but I don’t have one. The cop says, “You don’t have one?” No. I lost it four years ago for drunk driving. The cop says, “I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.” I can’t do that. The cop says, “Why not?” I stole this Corvette. The cop says, “You stole it?” Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. The cop says, “You what?” His body parts are in plastic bags behind me if you want to see.

The cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the Corvette. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

The senior officer cop says, “Ma’am, could you step out of your Corvette please? The woman steps out of her Corvette. Is there a problem officer? The senior officer says, “My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this Corvette and murdered the owner.” Murdered the owner? Are you serious? The senior officer says, “Yes, could you please show me the plastic bags containing the owner. The woman reveals there are no plastic bags. The senior officer says, “Is this your Corvette, ma’am?” Yes, here are the registration papers. The senior officer is quite stunned and says, “My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.” The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a small purse and hands it to the officer. The senior officer examines the license.

Thank you ma’am, but I am puzzled, as I was told that you didn’t have a license, that you stole this Corvette, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!

I bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

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